10/1/2014 (2:37pm) 358,838 notes

jaclcfrost:

"i’m not bitter" i say, bitterly, with a bitter expression

(via iwillmindfuckyou)

9/28/2014 (3:50pm) 549,477 notes

manicpixiedreamalien:

floozys:

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

I once pointed this out to some boys and they said I didn’t understand how vaginas worked.

(via iwillmindfuckyou)

9/26/2014 (6:36pm) 64,338 notes

shimmerfang:

teacher: wheres your homework

me: *swings a really big sword*

teacher: holy shit

(Source: tenzoku, via pwnator)

9/21/2014 (10:41pm) 346 notes

idontgiveahex:

do strippers in the southern hemisphere spin around their poles in the opposite direction 

(via thewingho)

  • me: *laughs*
  • parents: what's so funny what's going on who are you talking to can i see what's the joke haha i bet that's great what are you trying to hide from us

9/21/2014 (10:35pm) 183,865 notes

9/21/2014 (10:29pm) 185,400 notes

weloveshortvideos:

When you realise you’ve had one too many..

(via penishole)

9/17/2014 (12:55pm) 324,915 notes

chapsnats:

if u are about to get stabbed just say “I have too much swagger for the dagger” and they will leave u alone

(via thewingho)

9/17/2014 (12:50pm) 141,417 notes

heteroh:

when your parents threaten to take your allowance away

image

(via thewingho)

9/15/2014 (11:03pm) 481,732 notes

green-satan:

trying to leave tumblr

image

(via iwillmindfuckyou)

unclefather:

ibebro:

unclefather:

i’m so old

it was actually 14 years ago, you are not with math

you’re not with math either

(Source: safe-net, via iwillmindfuckyou)